https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/toolkit daily 1.0 2023-02-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1507668425346-523IXH2NBJ0OPVHOYJ8L/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%284%29.jpg Toolkit https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1506545728647-NT34MJGCONXS8GJKX8YT/cropped-tap-logo.gif Toolkit https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1608561020804-4UQM2IMGRJFBBQUC97H2/iStock-1083417790.jpg Toolkit https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/questions-1 daily 0.75 2018-03-14 https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/questions-1/2018/3/13/how-do-i-know-if-its-an-allergy-intolerance-or-caused-by-something-else monthly 0.5 2018-03-14 https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/questions-1/2018/3/13/when-do-i-need-to-talk-to-a-doctor-about-my-childs-diet monthly 0.5 2018-03-14 https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/hunger-profile daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1507577285087-0AQPOSYMYLK0IUPRU09O/10.png Hunger Profile https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1516830884950-30STXO9G9NMP9K1F8JPG/hunger+profiles+info+%283%29.png Hunger Profile This inforgraphic explains 8 Hunger Profiles in terms of hunger, satiety, and reward. 1. "Good" Eater : Kiddos who seem ready for a snack soon after they finish eating, can eat a lot at one time, and really like food DON'T ELIMINATE TREATS, BUT BE CAREFUL WITH THEM. LIMIT GRAZING. DON'T CELEBRATE HOW MUCH THEY EAT OR PRAISE FOR EATING.. 2. Particular: Kiddos who can eat a lot of what they like, but are picky. They don't get hungry so it's hard to entice them to eat healthy. MAKE SURE THEY HAVE ACCESS TO ONE OR TWO PREFERRED FOODS AT EACH MEAL OR SNACK. RESIST THE URGE TO PRESSURE TO EAT DIFFERENTLY. 3. All American: These kiddos like what you put in front of them, prefer three square meals a day, and are in the clean plate club.OFFER HEALTHY OPTIONS AND EAT THEM YOURSELF. . 4. Grazer: Grazers eat often but they don't eat much at one time. They also seem to really like food. DON'T WORRY IF THEY DON'T EAT A LOT AT A GIVEN TIME. OFFER SNACK TIMES THROUGHOUT THE DAY. 5. Hungry but Picky: These kiddos eat a lot when it's something they like but are picky. On the plus side, they do get hungry so they are a little more likely to eat what's in front of them MAKE SURE THEY HAVE ACCESS TO ONE OR TWO PREFERRED FOODS AT EACH MEAL OR SNACK. 6. Just not Hungry: Kiddos who don't get to hungry and don't seem to eat a lot at one time, but they're not very picky DON'T WORRY IF THEY DON'T EAT A LOT AT A GIVEN TIME. OFFER SNACK TIMES THROUGHOUT THE DAY. 7. Picks: These kiddos like to eat frequently, but just a little bit at a time and aren't that excited about food MAY NEED MORE SNACK TIMES THROUGHOUT THE DAY WITH HIGH FAT OPTIONS (LIKE ADDING BUTTER). AVOID PRESSURING TO EAT MORE. 8. Eats Like a Bird: These kiddos just aren't that interested in food. They don't get hungry easy and don't want to stay at the table for long MAKE SURE THEY HAVE ACCESS TO ONE OR TWO PREFERRED FOODS AT EACH MEAL OR SNACK. ADD FAT TO SNACKS AND MEALS. AVOID PRESSURING TO EAT MORE.). The profiles exist on a continuum with those at the top ("Good" eater and Particular) being more likely to over eat and those at the bottom (Picks & Eats like a Bird) more likely to under eat. https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/contact daily 0.75 2021-02-01 https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/eating daily 0.75 2021-02-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612890213686-LLUD3A6WD9RVLB0UXIH3/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%287%29.png Eating https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1509569861022-U7W9ANUM89A8D5I0IE8Y/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%2819%29.png Eating https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1509568123593-4FQHKZLTK5U42J2K3K70/2.png Eating Father trying to get child to eat - Managing Eating https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1507578091199-WXT7ECD0OJRGXYSCLQ99/9.png Eating https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1507577928108-U8AL1IS3QZ9G3P0DLB3U/7.png Eating https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1507577064177-IEK8XE8JOQI0SAHCONHU/10.png Eating https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/eat-healthily daily 0.75 2021-02-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1513113918443-WJ4UUDNNLCF39AI1905I/Eating+Time+%281%29.png Eat Healthily Simple sequence with pictures: Eating Time: wash hands, sit at table, choose food, eat/talk/listen, put dishes in sink. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1513635884139-3MQJ4CSYPJVB0TA5WVA4/bowl_26747213+%283%29.png Eat Healthily [Info graphic] Division of Responsibility Feeding with Kids on the Autism Spectrum 1. Basics: The division of responsibility is a feeding plan that encourages the parent to take leadership with the what, when, and where of feeding and let your child determine how much and whether to eat from what you provide. Adult - what - Grown-ups choose the food at meals and snacks. Try to make sure there's at least one option that you know your kiddo will like and try to keep things as healthy as you can, but besides that - there are no restrictions. Child - whether -Kids choose whether they will eat it and how much. This gives your child a sense of control. A sense of control motivates them to eat a wider variety of foods. It also teaches them how to control their intake so they get enough food but don't overeat. Adult - Regularity - Grown-ups make sure meals and snacks are provided around the same time every day. At different periods of time, you may have to adapt based on your child's hunger cues (adjust the times or quantities of snacks), but you set the schedule. It's okay if "snack" time is actually the biggest meal of the day. Between your established snacks and meals - there is no additional snacking or drinking (except for water). Child - Predictability - Children learn that their hunger and satiety is predictable. This helps them feel safe and secure. It also helps them learn how to regulate their hunger on their own. Because kids decide how much to eat, they can eat more when they're hungry even if that makes "after school snack" the biggest meal of the day.Because kiddos aren't eating just whenever they want, they actually feel hungry enough to notice the sensation. 2. Adaptations: You may be asking yourself - what does this look like for kids on the spectrum? Division of responsibility feeding works with most kids but you may have to get a little creative. A) Offer foods separately: Plan meals around what you want to eat, but serve the components separately. For example, if you're having tacos for dinner, serve the toppings and sides separately. This maximizes the choices available. . B) Mix and Match: You want to have one thing on the table that you know your child will eat. Don't feel pressure to make it "match" the other food. Maybe you have frozen waffles as a side...it isn't a special meal- it's part of the meal. C) Allow Exploration :Before eating new food there are predictable exploration steps - serving bowl closer to the plate, food on the plate but not eating it, putting food up to the mouth, and putting food in the mouth then spitting it out. Let this happen naturally. 3. Where: In addition to deciding what and when, grown-ups have one more responsibility. They decide where the family eats. It's not that there is one perfect place for every family, but both snacks and meals should happen sitting down. A) Sitting is important because it helps your child to stop and focus on eating. This will help them pay attention to their body. B) Having designated places for eating helps cue your child - they start to associate a specific place with specific expectations. C) For kids on the spectrum, we think kids avoid the table because they're afraid of the food - they're afraid you're going to make them eat it. The average American dinner is between 14 and 18 minutes - this is a good goal. With the division of responsibility feeding plan, your focus shifts from getting your child to eat to getting your child to engage. "I understand that that’s going to take some time to extend that time at the table - gradually. But if I can get five good minutes out of him - then I’m content with that." - Mom of an eight-year-old on the spectrum. For each day, the United States' Dietary Guidelines recommends: 3 cups of dairy 2.5 cups of vegetables 2 cups of fruit 6 ounces of grains 5.5 ounces of protein 27 grams of oils Think about this as a goal - not a goal of what you want your child to eat - a goal for yourself. Think about this as a goal of what to offer. 4. Details: "What if my child has problems with overeating?" "I think my child is way too picky for this to work." "We're just too busy not to eat on-the-go." - Each of these is a real problem that families have. We'll tackle them one by one. Problem: Over Eating. Solutions. A. You're not trying to get your kid to eat less. You're trying to make yourself offer fewer junk food choices and more health food choices. B. It's okay for your child to have treats, but it's your responsibility to make sure that they are treats - not an everyday source of calories. C. Don't: restrict all treats, limit portions, feed them differently, or tease them (even subtly) about their weight. Problem: Picky Eating. Solutions. A. Make breakfast, lunch, and snacks all options they like. At dinner, make sure there is at least one thing that they like. B. Don’t pressure them in any way to eat. Don’t talk about their food likes and dislikes. C. If they are underweight, make sure they have high fat foods like butter on vegetables or protein powder in a smoothie. Problem: On-the-go. Solutions A. Be creative and create a sit down meal or snack type setting where ever you are. Try to get there 15 minutes early and have a picnic. B. When you are at home, have sit down dinners. Be patient with yourself. When your routine breaks down - it can take time to reset. C. If it's too stressful to sit down together at dinner, try breakfast instead. You don't need to create an idealistic experience - just regularity. 5. No Pressure: Pressure can be positive or negative, but when it comes to eating, both positive and negative pressure can be a problem. What's really tricky is that pressure feels like good parenting. Often parents don't even know they're doing it. A) Positive: Avoid positive pressure. This will feel counter intuitive. AVOID: praising, reminding, bribing, rewarding, applauding, giving stickers, making special foods. B) Negative: Avoid negative pressure. It might feel like you don't care what your child eats. AVOID: Restricting, coaxing, punishing, shaming criticizing, begging, and withholding dessert, treats, or fun activities. C) Sneaky: Be on the look out for sneaky pressure - you may not realize it's pressuring. AVOID: "no thank you" bites, warning about hunger, making eating into a game, talking about how wonderful and delicious food is. The problem with pressure is that trying to get a kid to eat more makes them eat less, trying to get them to eat less makes them eat more, and trying to get them to eat certain foods makes them avoid those foods. Sound like kids you know? The problem's not the kiddo. The problem's the pressure. Source: The Ellen Satter Institute https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612890282414-9J91SLJW9B7EM6SCHP48/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%287%29.png Eat Healthily https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/about daily 0.75 2021-01-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1508867200054-1PLLJDZ9Z0IB3NSL4HHZ/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%2817%29.png About Picture of goldfish crackers, berries, and pizza in compartmentalized container. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1508867701986-F6VF9JY4PWPLKVMKKYIY/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%2818%29.png About Picture of woman and child doing a yoga pose. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1508866883918-9V6OU9CBNQL4V3ORJAFR/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%2816%29.png About Photo of a a family eating dinner and smiling. https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/picky-eating-patterns daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1507577599632-C0I45UN77KHGX5BH41CV/7.png Picky Eating Patterns https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1508942826187-ASUZOBOUCN2DOWMD8WCF/hunger+profiles+info.png Picky Eating Patterns 5 Patterns of Picky Eating: Understanding what is happening in the brains of picky eaters. 1. New: Some children seem almost afraid of new food- but this makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. If you only eat things you know are safe, you won't eat anything dangerous. New can mean new food, new cooking method, new brand, or new presentation. 2. Touching: Some children hate their food touching. It's as if one thing can contaminate everything else- even if they like it. This is because kids have a hard time combining flavors in their head. They have no idea how the combination is going to taste. 3. Hiding: Sandwiches, tacos, lasagna, and casseroles can all cause problems for kiddos. Kids are really concrete thinkers so they can't anticipate the parts of the food they can't see. If they can take it apart- great. If not, they might not eat it no matter how delicious. 4. Lumpy: Food with different textures like soups and sauces can be a problem. It is physically more difficult to eat foods with multiple textures. Additionally they may lock on to one component and expect everything to taste like that. 5. Bitter: This one is in the genes. Some people have a gene that can make them adverse to bitter flavors. These people are more likely to be picky eaters. Unfortunately, vegetables tend to have bitter in their flavor profile. https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/medication daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1507577710057-2P1ZHJY617V255CS71J9/9.png Medication https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1512661168577-GKH3LA3J7Q62FV0JLK7X/quick+questions+%281%29.png Medication 1. HOW WILL I KNOW IF THIS MEDICATION IS WORKING? 2. WHAT'S THE BEST TO MONITOR SIDE EFFECTS OF THIS MEDICATION? 3. CAN THIS MEDICATION AFFECT MY CHILD'S APPETITE? and how will I know? 4. CAN THIS MEDICATION AFFECT MY CHILD'S METABOLISM? and how will I know? 5. ARE THERE ANY OTHER SIDE EFFECTS I SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR? 6. MY CHILD IS ALSO TAKING THESE MEDICATIONS. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN THESE MEDICATIONS? 7. REMIND ME AGAIN HOW OFTEN THEY'RE SUPPOSE TO TAKE IT? 8. WHAT SHOULD I DO IF WE MISS A DOSE? https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/mealtimes-1 daily 0.75 2021-01-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1610732484066-JLOP6ECFKHZKZGZO05NS/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%283%29.png Mealtimes Connect through chores. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1605550910548-X6AV83OEK1KNN0AELW99/African+American+Family+sitting+around+the+table+eating+pizza+and+salad.+Mom+is+making+a+%22funny+frown%22+face+and+child+is+smiling+while+covering+his+ears Mealtimes https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611156350242-O2N729FS2P5MNT8PXSOP/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%284%29.png Mealtimes Family cooking dinner and the heading “Connect through Coaching” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1509569226184-TXFWSAZLOYUXMWU53NDB/3.png Mealtimes Picture of parent kissing child on the head at the table - Managing Mealtimes https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1602098043570-2HW38LDPB4XTCABLPPXL/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum.png Mealtimes The Stress Free Way to Manage Mealtimes [picture of a family eating dinner smiling and talking. One child sits on the mother’s lap. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611865830555-MO3JJKSBU5DFPCLZPYT0/10.png Mealtimes Child looking at phone caption “Disconnect to connect.” https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/special-diets daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1509646786146-3G8SSNP0H5FCF0AC4HHB/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%2819%29.png Special Diets Picture: jar of chai with raspberries. Text: Understand the Role of Special Diets https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1509655996407-SDAK4K7I6M3TKAFO4SHT/new-piktochart_25791731.png Special Diets Infographic: Child food allergies in the United States. Each year 200,000 people need emergency medical care for allergic reactions. Food allergies affect 1 in 13 or 8% of children - that's 5.9 million children. A food allergy is when the immune system attacks food proteins resulting in an adverse health effects. This could look like: hives, eczema, vomiting, stomach pain, diarrhea, runny nose, chest pain, weak pulse, anaphylaxis...Both food allergies and intolerances can affect child behavior, but different things are happening to the body.. A food intolerance is when your body has a difficult time digesting a specific food - it's not an immune response. Allergies do not cause autism. Avoiding certain foods, like gluten, cannot cure autism. If a child with autism has a food allergy or intolerance, it can affect their behavior. Although any food could cause an allergic reaction, these eight foods account for 90% of all food allergies: peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, eggs, wheat, soy, fish, and shell fish. Allergies affect the quality of life. 33% of children report being bullied; 25% report skipping camp or sleep overs, 15% don't go to restaurants, and 10% don't go on play dates because of their allergies. If you suspect a food allergy, you should consult with an allergist. There is no cure for food allergies although some get better or worse over time. The only thing you can do is avoid the food to prevent reactions. Serious allergic reactions require immediate treatment. Source: FARE: Food Allergy Research and Education https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/menus daily 0.75 2021-02-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611865575106-2J4TR6UG9BG2T45OZER4/14.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611865578659-44HM3GWBRWVC6EOZNA17/15.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611865583586-BNWHC9RAPVQJ8702AMVR/16.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611865591259-R4ZAK40ACNHNB0H39EBZ/13.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612192469105-EOCCW431I0SN3VDYXAD7/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%285%29.png Meal Plans Meal Plans for Mealtimes on the spectrum https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611865236213-RKQL0Y0LAM756S1QJ3I0/7.png Meal Plans Child sitting up on the counter watching their parent cook with the heading “connect through cooking”. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612194630115-D8AK3K91973346DS8X35/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule+%287%29.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612198531535-NBB7VXL5II0MA37651L9/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule+%2810%29.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612198489555-NWPA0M844L7PLRYD4K94/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule+%289%29.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612194235055-L3516BIRRCZ2L0P1T434/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule+%284%29.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612193242605-R2NCA1ZF5N8JXU9EPQV9/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule+%282%29.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612194677764-FWQXNOUOS6BT2BIR0TV5/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule+%288%29.png Meal Plans https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612193004243-E3K1G9GUA8BYOZFJVMJ9/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule.png Meal Plans Weekly Meal Plan: Sunday Suppers, Meatless Mondays, Taco Tuesdays, Pasta Wednesdays, Leftover Thursdays, Fast Food Fridays, Soup Saturdays. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612193118839-RVF6BK7LO0FC5BKX2F91/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule+%281%29.png Meal Plans S: Roasted Pork and Veggies, M: Roasted Veggie Bowl, T: Shredded Pork Tacos, W: Spaghetti & Meatballs, T: Leftovers, F: Chicken Nuggets, S: Chili https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612194169917-ERRGQQU804OMTW9MDL98/Black+and+White+Laundry+General+Weekly+Schedule+%283%29.png Meal Plans https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/division-of-responsibility-feeding daily 0.75 2020-06-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1513113918443-WJ4UUDNNLCF39AI1905I/Eating+Time+%281%29.png Mealtimes are About Connection Simple sequence with pictures: Eating Time: wash hands, sit at table, choose food, eat/talk/listen, put dishes in sink. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1507577858126-RTVE9N8WRQIV3PJ81441/8.png Mealtimes are About Connection https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1513635884139-3MQJ4CSYPJVB0TA5WVA4/bowl_26747213+%283%29.png Mealtimes are About Connection [Info graphic] Division of Responsibility Feeding with Kids on the Autism Spectrum 1. Basics: The division of responsibility is a feeding plan that encourages the parent to take leadership with the what, when, and where of feeding and let your child determine how much and whether to eat from what you provide. Adult - what - Grown-ups choose the food at meals and snacks. Try to make sure there's at least one option that you know your kiddo will like and try to keep things as healthy as you can, but besides that - there are no restrictions. Child - whether -Kids choose whether they will eat it and how much. This gives your child a sense of control. A sense of control motivates them to eat a wider variety of foods. It also teaches them how to control their intake so they get enough food but don't overeat. Adult - Regularity - Grown-ups make sure meals and snacks are provided around the same time every day. At different periods of time, you may have to adapt based on your child's hunger cues (adjust the times or quantities of snacks), but you set the schedule. It's okay if "snack" time is actually the biggest meal of the day. Between your established snacks and meals - there is no additional snacking or drinking (except for water). Child - Predictability - Children learn that their hunger and satiety is predictable. This helps them feel safe and secure. It also helps them learn how to regulate their hunger on their own. Because kids decide how much to eat, they can eat more when they're hungry even if that makes "after school snack" the biggest meal of the day.Because kiddos aren't eating just whenever they want, they actually feel hungry enough to notice the sensation. 2. Adaptations: You may be asking yourself - what does this look like for kids on the spectrum? Division of responsibility feeding works with most kids but you may have to get a little creative. A) Offer foods separately: Plan meals around what you want to eat, but serve the components separately. For example, if you're having tacos for dinner, serve the toppings and sides separately. This maximizes the choices available. . B) Mix and Match: You want to have one thing on the table that you know your child will eat. Don't feel pressure to make it "match" the other food. Maybe you have frozen waffles as a side...it isn't a special meal- it's part of the meal. C) Allow Exploration :Before eating new food there are predictable exploration steps - serving bowl closer to the plate, food on the plate but not eating it, putting food up to the mouth, and putting food in the mouth then spitting it out. Let this happen naturally. 3. Where: In addition to deciding what and when, grown-ups have one more responsibility. They decide where the family eats. It's not that there is one perfect place for every family, but both snacks and meals should happen sitting down. A) Sitting is important because it helps your child to stop and focus on eating. This will help them pay attention to their body. B) Having designated places for eating helps cue your child - they start to associate a specific place with specific expectations. C) For kids on the spectrum, we think kids avoid the table because they're afraid of the food - they're afraid you're going to make them eat it. The average American dinner is between 14 and 18 minutes - this is a good goal. With the division of responsibility feeding plan, your focus shifts from getting your child to eat to getting your child to engage. "I understand that that’s going to take some time to extend that time at the table - gradually. But if I can get five good minutes out of him - then I’m content with that." - Mom of an eight-year-old on the spectrum. For each day, the United States' Dietary Guidelines recommends: 3 cups of dairy 2.5 cups of vegetables 2 cups of fruit 6 ounces of grains 5.5 ounces of protein 27 grams of oils Think about this as a goal - not a goal of what you want your child to eat - a goal for yourself. Think about this as a goal of what to offer. 4. Details: "What if my child has problems with overeating?" "I think my child is way too picky for this to work." "We're just too busy not to eat on-the-go." - Each of these is a real problem that families have. We'll tackle them one by one. Problem: Over Eating. Solutions. A. You're not trying to get your kid to eat less. You're trying to make yourself offer fewer junk food choices and more health food choices. B. It's okay for your child to have treats, but it's your responsibility to make sure that they are treats - not an everyday source of calories. C. Don't: restrict all treats, limit portions, feed them differently, or tease them (even subtly) about their weight. Problem: Picky Eating. Solutions. A. Make breakfast, lunch, and snacks all options they like. At dinner, make sure there is at least one thing that they like. B. Don’t pressure them in any way to eat. Don’t talk about their food likes and dislikes. C. If they are underweight, make sure they have high fat foods like butter on vegetables or protein powder in a smoothie. Problem: On-the-go. Solutions A. Be creative and create a sit down meal or snack type setting where ever you are. Try to get there 15 minutes early and have a picnic. B. When you are at home, have sit down dinners. Be patient with yourself. When your routine breaks down - it can take time to reset. C. If it's too stressful to sit down together at dinner, try breakfast instead. You don't need to create an idealistic experience - just regularity. 5. No Pressure: Pressure can be positive or negative, but when it comes to eating, both positive and negative pressure can be a problem. What's really tricky is that pressure feels like good parenting. Often parents don't even know they're doing it. A) Positive: Avoid positive pressure. This will feel counter intuitive. AVOID: praising, reminding, bribing, rewarding, applauding, giving stickers, making special foods. B) Negative: Avoid negative pressure. It might feel like you don't care what your child eats. AVOID: Restricting, coaxing, punishing, shaming criticizing, begging, and withholding dessert, treats, or fun activities. C) Sneaky: Be on the look out for sneaky pressure - you may not realize it's pressuring. AVOID: "no thank you" bites, warning about hunger, making eating into a game, talking about how wonderful and delicious food is. The problem with pressure is that trying to get a kid to eat more makes them eat less, trying to get them to eat less makes them eat more, and trying to get them to eat certain foods makes them avoid those foods. Sound like kids you know? The problem's not the kiddo. The problem's the pressure. Source: The Ellen Satter Institute https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/coaching daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1602097851907-BWB7QC8PU2WVTYQEL51Q/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum.png Coaching The Stress Free Way to Manage Mealtimes [picture of a family eating dinner smiling and talking. One child sits on the mother’s lap. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1602097596712-OGEY7EU6CKMYNMTA7288/1.png Coaching https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1602097601260-MB4VYWQX4I52IYL2TYVT/2.png Coaching https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1602097604781-QOXTDFKTRH2PTCUQ9764/3.png Coaching https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1602097607772-F04U5933U02E0J0AZ9MY/4.png Coaching https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1602097259833-YY4UVQDMXFRMRN7G6BHW/Coaching+mealtims.jpg Coaching Coaching your way through Family meals The Stress-free Way to Mange Mealtimes. Take the emotion out: Use calm, neutral corrections and directions. It's easy for our emotions to creep into the words we choose, our facial expressions, the tone of our voice, how fast we speak, and how loud we speak. When we sound calm, children feel less shame and guilt–it's easier to really hear. [line image of a head with a plan where the brain would be]. Say What you Want to See: Focus on what should happen. The most common forms of corrections and directions are telling children what NOT to do. Instead our words should indicate the behavior we want to see. [line drawing of conversation boxes]. Less is More: Use short, simple phrases or cues.The easier it is for your child to process what you say, the more likely they are to understand and less likely to get frustrated. Picture and gesture cues are great too. [line drawing of a funnel]. Perfection is the enemy of progress: Prioritize to make space for connections. If the priority of your mealtimes is connecting with one another, limit your corrections and directions to what is needed enable connections. Have a sense of the most important skills your child needs to improve and let the other things go for now. [line drawing of a list where with an arrow of the bottom item being moved to the top.] https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/communication daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1605721437789-IQCTEFS0BPFWC222DD5M/Colorful+Simple+Math+Word+Problems+Printable+Worksheet.png Communication Dinner Time Conversations: Dinner time is when I can share my thoughts, feelings, and ideas. I can learn about what other people in my family are thinking and feeling too. Here are some different things I can do: 1. I can ask a question “How was your day?” 2. I can share something I learned, “Did you know…” 3. I can talk about my feelings, “Today I was anxious…”, 4. I can bring up memories, “I was thinking about the time when we…”, 5. I can make plans, “This weekend can we…” 6. I can help help with problems, “ I don’t know what to do about… https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1605550910548-X6AV83OEK1KNN0AELW99/African+American+Family+sitting+around+the+table+eating+pizza+and+salad.+Mom+is+making+a+%22funny+frown%22+face+and+child+is+smiling+while+covering+his+ears Communication The Stress Free Way to Manage Mealtimes [picture of a family eating dinner smiling and talking. One child sits on the mother’s lap. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1605892276346-F28AEYXZNKH8LCVH5KXC/Connect+through+Sharing+%282%29.png Communication Connect through Communication: Here are 6 strategies that may make communication easier. 1.) slow down the conversation. Allow at least 5 seconds before re-asking a question or moving on to a new topic. 2.)Give Directions for communicating. Don't assume your children know how to communicate. Give them clear directions about how to talk to one another. 3.) use visuals. Visuals can help guide expectations, prompt communication, and provide opportunities to share experiences. 4.) Emphasize non-verbal Communication. Parents' non-verbal communication sets the tone for the meal—things like smiling, tone of voice, and body language can make it easier for kids to share. 5.) Tell the story of your family. Mealtimes connect us with the past and future. Your family has a special story and mealtimes are a great time to share it. It helps your children understand who they are, where they come from, and your family values. 6.) Include Augmentative and alternate communication (AAC). Mealtimes are a great time for AAC! https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/chores daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611335131165-LVQME0X2D263CKB8320I/Chores+by+Age+%282%29.png Chores Chores by Age: Promoting Connections Through Responsibility. Your child does not need to be responsible for all of these tasks! But they give you an idea of how which chores are developmentally appropriate at various ages. When children participate in the tasks which support family meals it teaches them responsibility and independent living skills. It also helps you connect as a family because it teaches that we all have a role in taking care of each other. When kids start out, they need a lot of coaching. As tasks become more complex, they may continue to need help knowing they have done enough. 2-3 Years: Mealtime Chores: Put trash in the garbage can, Put away silverware, Wipe off cabinets, Fold dishtowels, Put dishes in the sink. Other Chores: Put laundry in the hamper, Pick up toys, Put clothes in drawers. 4-6 Years: Mealtime Chores: Clear the table, Unload the dishwasher/drying rack, Wipe down the table/chairs, Put groceries away, Sort recycling. Other Chores: Feed pets, Empty trash around the house, Water plants. 7 - 11 Years: Mealtime Chores:, Set the table, Take out trash/take trash to curb, Serve themselves, Load dishwasher/wash dishes, Sweep/Vacuum. Other Chores: Make bed, Fold laundry, Organize toy room. 12+ Years: Mealtime Chores: Clean out fridge/cabinets, Make grocery list, Find items/price compare at store , Cook simple meals, Mop floors. Other Chores: Clean bathroom, Do laundry/fold clothes, Yardwork https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1610733151127-E46UIMCFKP4D6QL5M1CX/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%283%29.png Chores Connect through chores [picture of a dad helping his daughter wash dishes] https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/coaching-2 daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611156852786-7QNCFL17N85HHLYNC7CX/Mealtimeson+theSpectrum+%284%29.png Coaching 2 Picture of family a dinner with the heading “Connect through Coaching” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611261798534-FW6UYQZU42ZOH3YNM0NT/THE+3Ps+of+COACHING.png Coaching 2 THE 3Ps of COACHING: Plan | Practice | Process. Plan [checklist graphic]. Planning gives kids a chance to understand what is going to happen next and what is expected of them. It cuts down on a lot of stress and anxiety. For some kids, you want to plan right before the event, so right before dinner you might go through the sequence and remind them of what is expected. For other kids, planning might happen far in advance. Practice [baseball grafic].For any new skill, but especially complicated social skills, practice is key. When you practice you can go through the motions without the intensity of the moment. For example, if you want siblings to be kind to each other during mealtimes, practice what that looks like beforehand. If it is hard to get them to practice together, practice with each one-on-one. Process [geers and person graphic]. Planning and practicing come beforehand, whereas processing comes afterward. Processing is talking about how things went after the fact. You can talk about what went well or what went not so well. You can process how things felt and what you will try next time. Processing can even replace in-the-moment corrections or praise or you can process in addition. https://www.mealtimesonthespectrum.org/tech daily 0.75 2021-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1612191010507-PWHPY605AHM5XYIZREX6/Writing+for+TV.png Tech setting screen time boundaries: Ideally, mealtimes should be a no screen time part of the day. Having good screen time boundaries will help make that possible. predictability: Children are better able to manage screen time limits when they are predictable. Consistent rules the key to managing screen time. Practice Disengaging: Before you start screen time, have your child practice how they are going to react to screen time being over. Join in: The truth is, that it's easy to find some of the darker parts of the Internet (and games too). Spend some time playing with them so you have a better sense of what they are doing online. moderate with audio: Sometimes we jump to screens (especially in public) to help our kids stay calm. Sometimes audio-only might work just as well but keep them more present. Try music, podcasts, or audiobooks. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59b8121a7131a570d35434e7/1611865703688-LT0VSDIPK43BD3IIG1J8/10.png Tech Picture of a child on a phone with the caption “disconnect to connect”